Abbey Clarke

I’m stepping up this March to support others like me.

The post natal season of motherhood changed me after birthing our son Hamish 6 weeks early in 2023.

I desperately wanted to feel that instant connection and “newborn bubble” that everyone speaks about. Feelings of love and joy were slowly taken over with guilt and disconnection days after his birth. Questions of “what did i do wrong”, “it’s something I did wrong” continued on repeat. I found I was recovering physically but I felt lost, guilty, angry and disconnected from the world. Surviving day by day with silent tears until dark thoughts began to take over slowly. Everything felt wrong and I was a failure. Felt like I was failing my son, my husband, our new little family…everyone. With many breakdowns, enough was enough. Convinced by a loved one, I sought out help by 1 phone call… & with that one phone call & finally admitting it to myself.. it was enough to start to get the help that I needed.

 I would love to say that I bounced back from the darkness of postnatal depression that I experienced. 

But I didn't “bounce back”

I’ve moved forward and have become a new version of myself over the last 2 years.

I will never be the same person, but through the experiences and challenges faced,  I’ve changed for the better. Decided who and what was important for this period of my life. Disconnected with people, however connected with many more for who I’m grateful for. I feel I need to say thank you to who have shown love & support throughout what a hard & challenging time it was. Family, old and new friends & my husband who have been there through the good and the shit. 

One little person, however, needs to be thanked the most. 

Hamish has shown and taught me a love that I never knew existed. His growth has shown me that I never failed him. I survived it & we are thriving together. We are watching each other grow and it’s an exciting time in our lives. I found out that you get tested the most when it’s time to elevate in life. With all the tears & darkness felt, life is feeling light and bright again 

100,000 Australian parents impacted by perinatal depression and anxiety every year. That’s 1 in 5 mums and 1 in 10 dads — and far too many suffer in silence. 

Your donation to Gidget Foundation Australia helps parents access vital psychological support when they need it most — online, in-person or through telehealth.

Every dollar can bring hope and support.

Thank you!